Saturday, November 12, 2016

NaNoWriMo 2016

I've been scared of my own passions for a long time, namely writing. It's a big and terrifying thing because with it being what I want most to succeed in life, it also means I have the most to lose. That has made writing daunting to say the least.

On top of that, knowing how rusty I am makes it hard to start but I always come back to the old adage "Start as you mean to go on." I've been really unhappy in 2016. It started out quite hopeful but early on, the worst day of my life happened, which lead to the worst month of my life. I'm a survivor so I picked myself back up quickly - no one is going to take care of me but myself, after all. I fought back against the sadness and despair.

NaNoWriMo is a chance for me to try to end the year as I started it; on a hopeful note. I want to believe good things can happen outside of my stories but the way I have always been able to renew my faith in the good is the same way I'm hoping to put it back out there, through my writing and my art. I want to create because expressing myself through my art is a release of sorts. It's like taking all the mystifying feelings I have inside - some of which I can't even name myself - and sending them out into the world like messengers from mythical gods.

I've learned that sometimes to find joy in your life, you have to create it yourself. So this year, I'm going to try harder than I ever have before. I'm going to get to 50,000 words and I'm going to remember all the joy and wonder I got out of writing. I'm going to renew my buried - not dead! - passion for it and I am going to recapture the hope that I had at the beginning of this year and pull it into the next.

Kicking and screaming if I have to.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

I Went to a Writers Conference!

So I went to a writers conference this weekend and it was awesome! Granted, a huge part of the conference is to meet other writers and publishing professionals and make some networking connections and that's the part I really wasn't good at but the workshops they had throughout the weekend were informative and inspiring.

There is so many parts of the whole writing process and its truly heart warming that there are so many people that want to give words and stories to the world. For myself, I learned that there are other ways of doing things, different techniques that the presenters were willing to share with people who share their passion for writing and that made me feel very grateful.

I would encourage any writer, aspiring or published, to find conventions and conferences like this one in their area and go see what its all about. There is so much to learn and there are so many people willing to share their information. It definitely makes you feel like you are part of a community.

As an example of what I learned, I'll say that I came to the conclusion that organization and structure are key for myself. I've been putting a lot of my focus on outlining. Everyone has their own way of doing things and getting to the finish line and I'm still finding my path but I feel like I get closer to it every day. I do know that I'm a person that likes lists. I like structure and organization on a piece of paper that I can see and visualize. Anyone who knows me knows this is actually quite ironic because I have a hard time keeping my apartment looking respectable so having an organized writing style is borderline hilarious. But hey, if it works, don't knock it.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Like Pulling Teeth

Does anyone ever really think they can get back on a bike after having stayed off for an extended period of time and think they can just ride like they did? No wobbling, no creaking joints, no almost going into a fence or a car because you were so busy focusing on pedalling you forgot how to steer? I didn't think so.

I try to write something and everything feels forced. I can't feel it so I can't see it so I can't write it. I'm mentally blocking myself, somehow and I wish I knew how to pull the plug. Have I lost interest in my stories? I don't think so because if I did, I wouldn't be visualizing them in my head any more. I think it's more that I'm rusty with my creative writing skills and trying to put everything in my mind down on paper in an order that makes sense and gets across what I'm trying to convey is an art I have to work at. It took years to get where I was when I was in my mid twenties. I really hope it doesn't take years to get back to that point. That would be really frustrating.

I'm sure it has a lot to do with how I'm feeling in the every day, so while I'll keep fighting to write everyday, no matter if it's my stories or these blogs, it's time to really sort my shit out. Well then, off I go to my other blog.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

It Seems an Introduction is in Order...

Blogging....I'm really not the biggest fan. of To be quite honest, the only reason I know how it works at all is because at one point when I was trying to convince myself I should get trained for a "serious" career instead of fooling around with my writing hobby I took some web design courses. As it turned out, during that painful period (school didn't get any better after I graduated from high school) we had to make a blog as a part of our mark in one of the classes.

If anyone is wondering, I barely passed that class.

However, as a recovering artist - if no one has read "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron I highly recommend it - I have started doing a few blogs because I want to get my writing muscles into shape. Again, I don't really like blogging but if there is one thing I love to do it's talk endlessly about myself, my rants and raves, fears, celebrations, and how few and far a part I think those celebrations really are. A blog is a perfect way to do that! Go me!

So yeah, for those who haven't guessed, I'm a writer. A lot of people say that though so let me clarify: I'm a writer...but I haven't had anything published to date. I did recently submit a short story to a contest so, y'know, that's something... Short stories aren't my forte but I enjoyed writing it and I gave it my all.

What I really want to do is write fictional novels, stand alones and series. My preferred genres are fantasy and mythology, but not romance. I have a weakness for reading it (especially paranormal romances) but I don't think I could write a good one. I might one day though, fortune does favor the bold and adventurous.

Fear would probably be my main excuse for why I haven't been more gung-ho with my writing. I used to write like it was the air I breathed, it was a necessary thing for me to do to get through my day. I'm trying to get back to that point so I can funnel the boundless passion I have into my writing instead of my everyday interactions with people because I'm pretty sure I'm starting to freak some of them out.

I'm on my own and I will give myself a little leeway and state that it has been a contributing factor for why I have taken longer than I wanted to dedicate more time and effort to my writing - no one is keeping a roof over my head and putting food on my table but me.

One of my closest friends told me I should have a blog dedicated to just my writing. I have a personal one that I use to record personal struggles and triumphs but having a separate blog for my writing really made sense to me because I should keep my writing life separate from everything else, just like my home and work life; don't let setbacks in one taint the others.

So to start off on my writing blog, I will start with the challenge of choice.

What do I write first? I honestly have so many ideas rattling around in my head, some of them I have started to put down on paper and others that have only just blossomed, but which one do I want to work on?

On top of that, NaNoWriMo is coming up and I am feeling a bit daunted. I have tried participating for probably 6 years now and I have yet to actually make the goal word count of 50,000 words. Have I written that much before? Yes, of course. Have I done that much writing in one month? Probably not since I was in high school and that was about 15 years ago, give or take a few years.

Challenges, choices and possibly choking on the first attempt. Oh what a grand adventure it will be....